The year 1989. The movie, Parenthood. If you’ve seen it and it made some kind of impact, you know that scene. The Steven Martin character, Gil, is overcoming the way he was Fathered and trying to be a different kind of Dad to his children. But if you’ve been there, raising children, having a family, you’ll realize there’s the role model Father or Mother you want to be, you aspire to…. and there’s the reality in between. On any given day we try, don’t we?
So there is the way we were raised & the way we raise our children. There is the ideal parent we want to be and then the Father and Mother we are and are becoming. There is the concept of the “nuclear family,” and the way it is as a modern family. From the goal to the reality, it can become quite messy and get sidetracked.
What we want and strive for is this…
What we get along the way is sometimes this…
If you recall Yoda’s Adage, “There is no try, only do,”… well that’s the magic sauce for me. Love without action is merely an ideal, maybe something separate from love. You gotta be willing to back up those words with something tangible, something you are doing for those you love. You may not always get it right, but at least you are trying to be the best parent for those you love…. and doing, doing, doing. Again and again without ceasing.
Remember when choosing a ride, go for the roller coaster, not the merry go round, the merry go round just goes round, and round and round….
Grandma:
You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil:
Oh?
Grandma:
Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil:
What a great story.
Grandma:
I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
So the things that shape us, our personalities, our family, our parents, the parents we try to be and the parents we are…. the parents we are still becoming. The modern family. Just do, don’t just try. But keep trying too!!
What shapes us. A good thing!!
ZandMe's 999 Good Things 