Let’s face it, it’s just hard to be indifferent to Golden Retrievers as a breed. As a brand, retrievers have an image to uphold, the friendly people-pleasing all-American (though pretty sure some Brit came up with the concept) little kid loving smiling breed. They’ll carry a tennis ball & a duck & maybe your socks (or underwear) around for miles just to drop them off at your feet… by the fire… as you smoke your Sherlock Holmes goose-necked pipe. They get wet in rivers, lakes, oceans, puddles, to bring you shit so you don’t have to swim. It’s what they do.
Besides being good guide dogs, emotional support animals, feel good budz in hospitals, assisted living facilities, hospice care, cancer wards, they’ll be there as long as someone is petting them. With all their super-human super-hero olfactory abilities, they have even been known to sniff out cancer & diseases in their owners, in patients, each other…and what’s unfortunately ironic??… they are hugely susceptible to come down with cancer prematurely themselves. At alarming rates. What else can Golden’s do??
This Golden apparently found Jesus. And no one even knew he was lost in the first place!! But Retrievers so want to find & bring back to you what you need most!! Maybe you need Jesus? Maybe you don’t!! That don’t matter to Golden’s they’ll find Jesus and bring him back to you anyways. So Jesus was lost, so thought this retriever. Maybe this Golden found him wandering aimlessly by the lost and found… maybe Jesus was trying to bargain shop there…
…at the lost & found. Maybe searching for some newly used replacement sandals. Golden’s sniffed Jesus out, right where you’d expect lost Jesus to be… by the lost & found, shopping… because ya know…
So the sweet smell of Covid??? A terrible disease that has both taken so much from us, & oddly, if you catch it from a different perspective, has also given us… so much. Retrievers are being used in hospital entry Covid screenings to a 95% accuracy!!! Try shoving a 6 foot swab up your nose & tickling your brain then finding out 2-5 days later if you’ve got the 19 or not. Now imagine a Golden Retriever sniffing your crotch then laying down & their handler saying immediately… yep, sho’ ‘nuff you got the Covid. Don’t believe me? Well NPR & the internet’s be saying this retriever-Covid screening thing is actually a thang.
Now watch this…
Now listen to this song I’ve been playing lately.
I fear nothing,
Please don’t touch me,
Love like an infant trying to stand up.
I feel nothing,
Besides this pain.
Please don’t watch me.
Love like an infant,
Scared and crawling.
Am I two souls?
One heart, one whole?
Am I real?
I don’t want to feel anything.
Golden’s & Covid. Making the world a better safer place… despite its torn pale nature at times.